FoF on last.fm http://www.last.fm/music/Fausto+Fern%C3%B3s+and+Marc+Felion
Pretty cool site.. you can even stream a radio station of what listeners of FoF are playing on their Itunes etc... Love you guys

Said by: JimmyDe at January 19, 2007 01:08 AM

Okay guys! Great cast today! Hit right where I come from! Grant was terrific in describing his 'new' experiences! I just wish I was online to pop a few questions at him myself!

It's good to hear from him being the 'outsider' looking into a realm other's shy away from or just mock.

Everyone has to start somewhere and how will you know you don't like it if you don't try!? I never thought I'd be doing 90% of the stuff I do now had I not given it a try (electro, suspension, hot wax, flogging, mummification, etc (yes, I've done and liked those all)). Just remember, be safe and sane about what you do!!

Can't say I've tried sploshing yet though, but wouldn't pass it up if I had the opportunity! I think your next meet & greet, we'll have to set up a sploshing pit (lol).

You also have to have an understanding that BDSM doesn't always mean 'humiliation', but there are those who get off on that. I, for one, do not like that type of scene. I'm involved for the 'experiences' and the natural endorphin rush you get from being bound, gagged, electrified, flogged, suspended, etc. Variety is the spice of life and you'll never know unless you've tried! :) My list of 'interests' could go on!

WOOOOF! The BDSM party sounded like it was fun! Although, I prefer the all male kind, but have attended pan-sexual events.

I believe the reason events like these do not allow 'journalist' types is the fact that BDSM tends to get a bad rap by those who do not understand and there are SEVERAL organizations who are out there to discredit and make BDSM illegal (go fig, London is one of those places looking at legislation)! There is also the fact of confidentialality with the players. Not everyone is BDSM 'out' so to speak.

Bottom line here: If you're interested in kinks, ASK people (like me), don't be embarrased! You'd be surprised who has the answers or can at least point you in the right direction of fun BDSM experiences! AND BE SAFE PEOPLE!

Love-n-kink from Southern California, your fan,
Buzz

Said by: Buzz at January 19, 2007 06:42 AM

That idea of using a dildo cast from your own cock -- I think I see some kind of futuristic Dorian Gray thing happening here.

Said by: Mike (DMCEx) at January 19, 2007 10:26 AM

Okay, you all knew I was going to chime in on this one. First of all I must say that I cannot wait to read this book. Grant is an excellent speaker and I'm sure it's going to be great. What an excellent show. You guys have always been open minded about alternative lifestyles and it's so refreshing to hear someone take on this topic without being offensive and belittling, but then again I would expect nothing less from you guys. :)

Buzz hit the nail on the head! And to think I was there the night he got his first jolt of electrostimulation (sniff sniff). It makes a momma proud. Anyway, here are some of my personal thoughts on the subjects that were talked about.

Why we do this...

There are many different reasons why people engage in different types of BDSM. Being put through a certain amount of controlled pain can be extremely cathartic. My first flogging ended up with me bursting into tears and falling into the arms of the man who had been flogging me, and I left there feeling better than I had in a long time because I was able to release a lot of deep frustrations and feelings that I had not previously dealt with. My second flogging was more about exhilaration, like jumping out of a plane or running a marathon. The adrenaline release is unlike any artificial drug you could ever take. And sometimes it's simply about connection. You can build a very strong bond with a person when you are both going to this amazing place, mentally, physically and spiritually.

I once heard Guy Baldwin (a very well known author in BDSM circles) speaking on his life in the leather scene, and he had the greatest statement on why men get into things like humiliation, pain, fetish, etc. He said something along the lines of... we do these things because it gets our dicks hard! Now really, is there a better reason?

On infantilism...

The attraction to this can be all about reaching an altered state of reality. This is the same reason people take LSD, or do yoga and deep meditation. To see the world through different eyes. And also get to enjoy some time where you can allow yourself to shuck off your day to day stress and not worry about the bills, or the taxes, or buying groceries. You just get to become a child again. I have found that human dogs/pups and adult babies often seek a similar thing, that release from the day to day world. For me, as a pup, it's getting in touch with a very primal part of me. For the Infantilist it can be about getting in touch with your inner child and letting it take over for a while. It's very freeing.

On privacy...

I would guess that the reason people were so upset by the intrusion of an outsider into their world is more about a respect for privacy than anything else. More so in the straight world than the gay, making someone's fetish interests public can often result in people losing jobs, having their children taken away by social services, and being looked down upon and even scorned by a neighborhood or community. And even though Grant didn't use names and places, he still took things that were meant to be private and made them public, and the fear is that if he got away that then the next reporter might feel they can do the same thing yet not use as much discretion. And each time someone pushes, they do damage to a sacred structure of secrecy.

This podcast reminded me of the film "Preaching To The Perverted" where an office boy for the British Government is sent underground to expose a wildly popular fetish club and finds himself falling in love with the owner. It's a really good movie and I highly recommend it.

Okay, I'm done, heh heh. Have a great weekend everybody.

Dog Treats For All,
Puppy D

Said by: pup don at January 19, 2007 03:37 PM

Thanks for your sex-pert advice Pup Don and Buzz! I'm glad there are people out there who are so thoughtful about what they do sexually and experiment with something so deep and integral to our being and have a good sense of humor about it.

The book REALLY is worth the read. I'll be re-reading it this weekend myself.

If anyone who is a fan of Dan Savage, be sure to pick up Grant's book. I appreciate his attempts to remain objective and his humorous approach at the ways we all can be a little ridiculous sometimes.

The image of the man dressed up as a dessicated Strawberry Shortcake will make me laugh for days upon days...

Said by: Fausto at January 19, 2007 05:03 PM

Fascinating. Thanks guys!

Said by: Flatowicz at January 20, 2007 10:21 AM

Being as how we have had sexual abuse go on our family, and having studied it in graduate school, I would like to comment that the bonding experience to which Pup Don refers reminds me of what happens with abused children - they actually bond with their parents through the abuse, which of course makes them very confused and can have long-lasting, deleterious effects. And so while all of this sexual activity between/among adults described in this program is concensensual and interesting, it would wreak psycho-social havoc in a person upon whom it were thrust unwillingly. Mutual trust and agreement are of prime importance not only in these types of experiences but in relationships in general, couldn't we say?

Said by: Patricia Fernós at January 20, 2007 12:12 PM

Well, great Patricia. I think this is a big breakthrough for you on your road to
living the BDSM lifestyle! You've already been to Camp Casey so next stop is the Leather Camp. Goode Luck! :)

Seriously though, you all have wonderful points. My concern is that some people may say it is consensual but the have been so victimized in the past that they get use to and will take just about any form of abuse.

Said by: Marc at January 20, 2007 02:13 PM

I love the "future Dorian Gray" concept Mike!

I don't think this is the last we'll hear from Mr. Stoddard.

Said by: Fausto at January 20, 2007 02:19 PM

Marc, dahling, you are so FUNNY! I do find Stoddard interesting, but as I said to dear my performance art friend who as a warmed-over communist still loves dialectical rhetoric, "I may not always to along with you but you are certainly entitled to your preferences..."

Said by: Patricia Fernós at January 20, 2007 02:29 PM

Not wishing to tempt fate here...but I *think* the Internet Explorer 7 bug that was screwing up the banners and comments page is now fixed!!! *does dance* hurrah!! xxx

Said by: meshaped at January 20, 2007 05:12 PM

Thanks to Josh Cohen, John Porter and Jason Schupp for for figuring out and fixing the IE7 problem.

Said by: Marc at January 20, 2007 07:20 PM

Hi fellas, thanks for the shoutout on today's show! I'm actually from Kent (outer London) though me and Stoddard do sound almost exactly the same (it was as if I were there with you). x x x

Said by: Gary C at January 21, 2007 05:30 PM

Just tried to buy the book, but it means waiting for three weeks from the US. Yet it comes out 5th April in the UK, so either way the UK have to wait! x x x

Said by: Gary C at January 21, 2007 07:03 PM

Patricia, you make an excellent point. Everything we do is 100% consentual. If it was not, it would be abuse and that is not a good situation to be in. And Marc, you are right, there are some people for whom BDSM is just a thinly veiled excuse to either be abusive or to become abused because of deep seeded psychological issues. That's why it's very important to not only know your partners well but also know yourself. In some ways it makes you examine yourself deeper than you normally would in order to understand why you like these things. And sometimes you can uncover disturbing facets of your personality that deserve further exploration with a kink friendly psychologist. The point is to not feel guilty about your feelings, but to do your best to examine them as objectively as possible.

Said by: pup don at January 22, 2007 11:53 AM

Hey huys,
just listened to the show. Very interesting I have to say, and all done in good humour too.
Great to hear what an Essex boy is getting up to over in the States.

-Padraig

Said by: Padraig at January 23, 2007 08:41 AM