Fausto,

Your mom's gonna pull out her Sharpie and tag your headline, "Spead the gospel..."

Said by: rick in San Diego at June 23, 2006 03:08 PM

I was just testing you Rick, to see if you were paying attention! Thanks for catching my typo.

Said by: Fausto at June 23, 2006 03:52 PM

boys. i've seen those videos. CRAZY!!! although i'm an asian, i laughed at them. they are doing excercise while singing odd songs. anyway, keep this podcasting running, boys! love this show so much.

Said by: cry at June 24, 2006 05:28 AM

I've been spreading the word on my blog - as a new listener I am already hooked!

Said by: Nick at June 24, 2006 07:13 AM

Hi there!
What's the crack?
I just discovered your podcast and I'm pissing myself! I can't remember when was the last time I heard a group of... and they made me laugh!
anyway... now you have another fan! you're brilliant!

bye

JP

Said by: JP at June 24, 2006 08:10 PM

Hey guys! I just started listening to your show from meeting you at the Pride Parade today and you guys are HILARIOUS. Count me in too as a new fan of Fools.

Said by: Jim at June 25, 2006 10:43 PM

Well I've got links to you on my website and told everyone I know how fabulous you all are. Shame you don't do a banner(468x60) for people to use. Your little feastoffools logo im using looks so small next to all the other banners ive got :( Keep up the good work!

Said by: Jamie at June 26, 2006 08:20 AM

Hi everyone at FOF,

I'm designating myself as your representative in Hong Kong, and I just got to listen to your When Farts Attack show. I thought I would therefore share with you a blog I've been maintaining about my experiences here - you can also find it at www.myspace.com/thenotoriousham.

View from a Broad - Observations on Life in Hong Kong

Ok, I've been living in Hong Kong for about 6 months now, and since I am an American, I feel that my arrogance and sense of entitlement more than qualify me to poke fun at my new place of abode. Also, I'm getting tired of answering the question, "What's it like to live in Hong Kong?" If I write it down, I can just direct people here.

So, first of all, Hong Kong is very different than PRC (mainland China). After being under British control for so long, they've become somewhat westernized. Don't think that you're walking into London or something, though. I like to think of HK as western-plated - there's a thin layer of West covering a whole lot of East.

HK is very, very, very humid. I absolutely cannot stop sweating.

They use bamboo as scaffolding - I had no idea it was that strong.

I'm already tired of Chinese food - not a good sign.

The names of restaraunts tend to look like they used a thesaurus and looked up the word "good." Everything is "Wonderful Noodles" or "Delicious Seafood," etc. In fact, down the street from me there is actually a "Nice Restaraunt" - I kid you not. There's also one that's kind of confusing - "Perfect Roasted Goose Seafood Restaraunt" - I never know what I'm gonna get if I go in there.

The people tend to be very literal and they always follow directions. For example, I was getting my HK ID card in a large place very similar to a DMV. When I am called to come talk to the woman I go up to her cubicle, and we are sitting face to face. There is a sheet of glass between us (because understandably that SARS thing scared the crap out of them), so I have to pull my chair close and lean in to hear her and to be heard. So we are talking, and literally in mid sentence, a cleaning woman steps in front of me and starts cleaning the glass. So here I am staring at the cleaning lady's ass and the other woman doesn't seem to find it unusual at all - just leans around her and keeps talking. The cleaning woman has specific instructions to clean the glass, and clean the glass she did.

There are many amusing English (or Engrish, or Chinglish) translations, but my favorite is a sign I saw above a handicap restroom. It said, "Disable Toilet." I wondered what you would have to eat in order to accomplish that.

They are also a somewhat immature culture, and I don't mean that as rudely as it probably sounds. But everyone loves Disney characters and Hello Kitty and that kind of thing. And they don't seem to want really nice things, either. It seems that the tackier it is, the better, and if it's cheaply made out of plastic or paper, then that's just a bonus.

They are not shy about bodily noises. I was in the post office the other day and a woman who was 80 if she was a day let out a belch so loud that it actually startled me. I was quite impressed. And if you hear that sound of someone shifting in a vinyl chair, yeah, it ain't the chair.

Some people I've noticed seem to wear things (I'm assuming) based on how they looked and not what they mean. There was a woman I saw the other day who had to be at least 60, and she had on an AC/DC t-shirt. I also saw an old man wearing a baseball hat with a big gay pride rainbow flag on it. Yes, he could be gay, but given his age and the country's stance on homosexuality, it's not likely that that's why he was wearing it. I think he probably just liked the colors. Now, if I was in the US, I would assume that those people had to been to Goodwill. Since I'm not in the US, and neither are they, I cannot imagine where they got those things.

Despite being on the other side of the world, I can still get ice cold PBR (blue ribbon winner 1893). Can't beat a peeber, can ya?

Their eating habits are just weird to me. The best example I can think of is that they eat chicken feet. That in itself is strange to me, but get this. They cut the crust off of bread. So let's try to get our heads around that - foot of a chicken with bones, a little cartilege, and tendons = good, crust on bread = gross. Does that seem odd to anyone else? They also put things on pizza that should be illegal and punishable by death, or at the very least, life in prison. Honey mustard and smoked eel? Get that shit off my pizza you commie bastards! (Ok, I'm serious about the pizza, but the commie bastards is just for comic effect - don't start sending me hate mail.)

They have a world-class GAPS (for those not in the know, that stands for Global Ass Positioning System). No matter where you are on the sidewalk, there will be an old person's ass in front of you. If you move, they move, and they never have to turn around to do it, either. I have come so close to just knocking an old lady down and beating her with her own handbag. Instead you just end up mumbling things like, "Get the hell out of the way" and, "Fast-paced city, my ass." Or you do that stupid territory-marking throat clear because you want to make your point but you don't like conflict. Needless to say, my throat is really, really clear since I moved to HK.

Update: I came in to school today bitching about always getting shoved around on the sidewalks (people here would walk right through you if it wasn't for the fact that two objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time) or having to force my way into the aisle of the bus in order for people to make room for me to get off. A colleague of mine here and lifelong Hong Konger summed it all up perfectly; "There is no lady first rule."

Another update: A couple of days ago I saw an old woman with silver/gray hair, a cane, what appeared to be a case of rickets, and....a faux hawk! Hey, why not? Nothing surprises me anymore.

Ok, enough for now, but I will probably update this one from time to time, so check back in.

Said by: Tiffany at June 27, 2006 03:50 AM

http://www.engrish-store.com/ihatmystshir.html is the shirt you guys were talking about :D

Said by: Christine at June 27, 2006 01:10 PM