Some friends of mine and I were bored and started talking about the Harry Potter series... specifically about how the wands can be thought of as phallic imagery (I expect that'll be in the next argument for banning them from our school library). We've found several parts in the books where the word penis, cock, dick, prick, phallus, etc. can be used in place of the word "wand"

In the fourth book for example, there's an entire chapter entitled "The Weighing of the Wands"

Fleur Delacour swept over to Mr. Ollivander and handed him her penis. 'Hmmm...' he said. He twirled the penis between his long fingers like a baton and it emitted a number of pink and gold sparks.

Harry looked down at his own penis. He could see finger marks all over it. He gathered a fistful of robe from his knee and tried to rub it clean surreptitiously. Several gold sparks shot out of the end of it. Fleur Delacour gave him a very patronizing look, and he desisted.

"Rather thicker than one usually sees... quite rigid... ten and a quarter inches...Avis!"
The hornbeam penis let off a blast like a gun, and a number of small, twittering birds flew out the end and through the open window into the watery sunlight

Some don't even need a change to sound wonderfully naughty.

"Twelve and a quarter inches... ash... pleasantly springing. It's in fine condition... You treat it regularly?"
"Polished it last night," said Cedric, grinning

My personal favorite, though... would have to be this one...

Four summers ago, on his eleventh birthday, he had entered Mr. Ollivander's shop with Hagrid to buy a penis. Mr. Ollivander had taken his measurements and then started handing him penises to try. Harry had waved what felt like every penis in the shop, until at last he had found one that suited him - This one, which was made of holly, eleven inches long, and contained a single feather from the tail of a phoenix. Mr. Ollivander had been very surprised that Harry had been so compatible with this penis. "Curious," he had said, "curious," and not until Harry asked what was curious had Mr. Ollivander explained that the Phoenix feather in Harry's penis had come from the same bird that had supplied the core of Lord Voldemort's.

Said by: Ric at June 29, 2006 01:48 AM

I think there was also a controversy about a vibrating broom haha i think it was pulled out because girls were getting orgasms when they climbed on top of them to ride them.

Said by: Jay at June 29, 2006 06:12 AM

If Jessica needs headshots, tell her to get to NYC and I'll come up and do them. "I give special price!"

: )

-jason

Said by: Jason at June 29, 2006 07:19 AM

All right. So all you hot, attractive, handsome, beautful, studly listeners, you know what to do. Buy me a six pack of Amstel Light and let's find out the answer to Marc and Fausto's burning question about Latinos.

Cesar

Said by: Cesar at June 29, 2006 10:31 AM

LOOOVED Jessica..can't wait to hear more from her...

Also...Where is Miss Ronnie???? Jessica and her together would be a riot!

Said by: Brad aka Got80s at June 29, 2006 11:15 AM

http://www.transbuddha.com/mediaHolder.php?id=1996

more craziness...I especially like the last phrase..."let's go Dutch"...*chuckles*

Said by: meshaped at June 29, 2006 02:24 PM

It's Brandon ROUTH, Fausto, not SOUTH. :) When they're as hot as he is, you're supposed to *at least* remember their names.

Said by: Steven in San Jose at June 29, 2006 03:36 PM

Forget judo... I think you have a much better chance of getting away with all your money if you start doing rhythmic leg lunges and chanting "Spare me my life!"

and while we're on the topic of spandex pants...

LESLIE HALL is going to be at michigan this summer! Sorry if you all knew that already... I am nursing an obsession with Leslie and the Ly's, and it would be awesome to see them live. I first saw Leslie in Bust magazine, before I heard the FOF podcast from "behind the music" -- which was one of my favorite FOF's ever.

Okay, gotta get busy with the bedazzler...

Said by: maia at June 29, 2006 03:48 PM

I fucking love Jessica, I want to marry her, bring her back. Right Now! DO IT!

Said by: Ben at June 29, 2006 06:55 PM

Jessica is such a wicked lesbian! love her :)

Said by: VJnet at June 29, 2006 09:01 PM

Yes where is Miss Ronnie and is she ever coming back on the show? Really miss her wit and charm.

Said by: bud24dc at June 30, 2006 06:58 AM

I love abortions too.

Said by: George at June 30, 2006 10:46 AM

Interesting show Jessica was great

Said by: Ramble Redhead at June 30, 2006 03:40 PM

Jessuca was funny as hell and I couldn't stop laughing as I was cleaning out my old neighbors garage. thanks again.

Said by: Rochelle (from MN) at July 3, 2006 06:03 PM

In my Harry Potter group, we decided that JK Rowling's going to kill everyone "like freaking Hamlet or Macbeth." No matter who she kills, I'm sure there'll be a ton of angry fangirls everywhere.

Said by: Bethany at July 4, 2006 03:21 PM

Loved Jessica, but have a problem!

As I often listen to Fof in bed and drift off to sleep, her constant mention of vagina gave me terrible nightmares!
It's so long since I saw one in the flesh I dreamt I was being chased by things not unlike the inside of a Dalek! Marc's mention of ejaculations didn't help either as they were spitting as me as they chased me down the street.

Thanks for anothe great show and a sleepless night!

Said by: kilo hotel at July 5, 2006 05:31 AM

Thanks Fausto for the shout out.

I LOVE your podcasts...I just got caught up today. I was having problems on my laptop...But all is OK now.

Paul from NYC

Said by: Paul at July 9, 2006 12:03 AM