When listening to a podcast becomes a religious experience.
One of our most fabulous listeners (he makes us laugh, he makes us cry) Craig Rigby from the U.K. tried to start a Feast of Fools fansite with Apple's new iWeb application, and gave up cause he lost interest.
However he did manage to send us his list "Twenty Five Reasons why People Should Worship Fausto Fernós" via email.
Let's just say I'm terribly flattered.
Read the jump for the whole list.
Twenty Five Reasons why People Should Worship Fausto Fernós
by Craig Rigby, Listener in the UK
1.Fausto Fernós can grow 50 feet in all directions in a self-defence strategy called “Fausist Enlargement”.
2.Fausto Fernós sweats a 50/50 mixture testoster- one and sarin gas
3.Fautso Fernós has provided IVF treatment for 300 women with just one teaspon of fluid.
4.Fausto Fernós has infra-red vision.
5.Fausto Fernós invented a time machine so he could become a futuristic law-enforcement officer in a post-industrial dangerous urban environment.
6.Fausto Fernós smells so good that if a beaver was situated on Saturn it would be able to pick out his scent.
7.Fausto Fernós is comprised of genetically engineered semi-robotic cells that instantly heal an epidermal wound if sustained in a combat situation or embarrassing sexual accident.
8.Fausto Fernós’ tears smell of gold, and can be used to cure wounded animals
9.Fausto Fernós has mastered the ability of levitation for sexual purposes.
10.Fausto Fernós’s sperm are the size of tadpoles.
11.Fausto Fernós invented Spain.
12.Fausto Fernós is the only biological organism that knows how an interuterine device functions.
13.Fausto Fernós once traveled back in time and fucked a T-Rex in the eye.
14.In certain languages Fausto is a noun literally meaning ‘matches are not a toy’.
15.Fausto Fernós refuses to acknowledge Russia.
16.Due to his large mass per unit volume, Fausto Fernós exerts a gravitational pull on any given body where strength is an inverse square of his proximity to said body... except baptists.
17.Fausto Fernós is a deliverer of justice to evil doers.
18.Marc Felion is the DEVIL.
19.Fausto Fernós exists twice in every dimension of the multiverse.
20.Fausto Fernós invented all forms of self defence, including Karate and Sumo wrestling.
21.Fausto Fernós is a self described “Shit hot badminton player”.
22.Fausto Fernós believes in peace and equality between all nations and races... except baptists.
23.Fausto Fernós has diplomatic immunity for all of his sexual actions.
24.Fausto Fernós is fluent in all known languages including Ebonics and Polari.
25.The world will end in an almighty battle between Fausto Fernós and Fausto Fernós where both will be victorious.
Posted by Fausto | 05:55 PM | Thought of the Day | Email to a friend
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Comments
Wow a front page spot! Now I feel bad for not spending longer than about 2 hours playing with iWeb before I gave up on my new religion.
Said by: Craig Rigby at January 13, 2006 06:48 PM
*bows down to worship all things Fausto*
Said by: Krys at January 13, 2006 09:38 PM
Fausto. My leader. Praises.
Said by: Aaron Ball at January 13, 2006 10:41 PM
lmao hilarious love it love it
Said by: Jeri at January 14, 2006 04:20 AM
Hey, if we start now we could get tax-exempt status as a cult, like Scientology... uh, I mean a real religion!
Said by: zipper at January 14, 2006 12:51 PM
Bless you all my children. Where are my prada shoes and oprhan boys?
Said by: Fausto at January 14, 2006 02:53 PM
What is this new religion called? Faustism? Faustology? The Church of Fausto Fernós and Latter Day Freaks? Seventh Day Fernóstists? Can I belong to the small cult who worships Marc?
Said by: Alan Gentry at January 14, 2006 05:05 PM
The religion is called The One True Church of the Holy Furnos. The followers are called Seventh Day Hedonists.
I am the Sumpreme Mega Big High Priest. Fausto is only to be address as His Most Holy King of the Nob Nibblers, Most Divine Ruler of the Spasming Starfish or a variation thereof.
Marc (as stated above) is the ultimate source of evil, puppies and fresh fruit. He is the Anti Fausto.
You can worship Marc if you like but know that if you do worship the Anti Fausto I will have to hunt you down and stab you through the heart with a nail file.
With all this interest maybe I shouldn't have given up the religion so early.
Said by: Craig Rigby at January 14, 2006 06:41 PM
Then we should crown Victoria LaMarr "The Princess of the Eighth Night Trannie Trainspotters".
How about Miss Ronnie- "The Extreme Queen Mama of Keeping It Real".
And of course Amanda Steinstein would be "The Prime Pure Princess of the Plaid Purple Pumpkin".
OK this is fun!
Said by: RcktMan at January 14, 2006 08:55 PM
RcktMan you are clearly advocating the worship of false idols. I can feel an inquisition coming on.
Said by: Craig Rigby at January 14, 2006 09:12 PM
Looking forward to Judgement Day myself! By the way, are there 10 Commandments written on a colbalt blue tablet somewhere that we should be heeding?
Your Servant,
Buzz
Said by: Buzz at January 15, 2006 09:51 AM
So this version of organized religion is ok? I quess if the Catholics can do it... Is there a church yet?
Said by: Joshua-Myles at January 15, 2006 07:12 PM
I LOOOVE YOU GUYS! IVE BEEN LISTENTING SINCE IVE BEEN OFF WRK SICK IN BED AND IM IN LOVE W/ THE SHOW! YOU GUYS MAKE ME LAUGH and put a huge smile on my face! so awesome!
Said by: Jasmine Clark at January 24, 2006 01:20 AM
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